Friday, December 21, 2012

gluttony

Thoroughly enjoying gluttony right now while visiting my family in the suburbs. That carpet pattern would arouse any woman driving a 1996 Ford vehicle. I examined the shoes I left behind that wouldn't fit in my Toronto apartment. I went through a moccasin phase that would leave a teenage girl living in said suburbia dead as if she just got a glimpse of J.B. They will be on the market soon. This market I am referring to is Kijiji with a price tag of $20 in a size 7 (9 W). There's just enough fringe to make you want to spin to your hearts content.

Lucky enough, I left some amazing pairs behind that I embarrassingly forgot to bring with me to begin my new life of Hannah Hovath. A few pairs of vintage loafers that I know hurt currently at the moment, but it's okay, that's what medication is for.

I wandered through downtown aimlessly yesterday when I stopped to purchase some tea and I got complimented on my Blundstones. They're ubiquotous among the street kids of Queen West, but in the land of Top 40 radio stations and mullet haircuts - they're the new moccasins.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

It was the summer of 2011 and I had just lost my virginity to Instagram...

We had a good relationship for a year. Then fucking Facebook purchased you like some impotent, pathetic man preying his next victim. I questioned the credibility of Instagram after the much public transaction. A new statement of their privacy policy recently gave me and every other user doubts. How post-modern we are. I thought to myself, "I'm done." Instagram/Facebook, I am not a commodity.   I stand for causes that I believe in and your fucking corporation is not one of them.

My next campaign will be against Clover Leaf and their unethical methods in fishing tuna.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

post-grad


This months sparks a special release for all twenty-something nasty gals (and boys). As a male counterpart to this demographic I feel obliged to contribute. My contribution is to make Lena Dunham and her team of Brooklynites just a tad more bourgee. I'll be extending my gratuities in purchasing the sought after HBO show in physical format. 

Do you recall the ladies from Sex and the City discussing girls in their twenties? (Season 2: episode 17. Go now.) Carrie believes being in the city, single and in our twenties is worst than in your thirties. Samantha believes we're ungrateful pieces of shit. And Charlotte got crabs. Our twenties are shit. We are graduating into an economy that believes that us twenty somethings are entitled to certain career positions. I will get you your non-fat latte. We have to graduate from multiple schools to land a job. A part-time job. I need a dental plan. I can't be Hannah Hovath and just intern for free. I have to fucking eat. Let alone we have to worry about diseases like HPV and alcoholism to adapt to our lives. 

"I could be a drug addict. Do you realize how lucky you are?" - Hannah Horvath

Cheers.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

row


Do you remember when mini-backpacks were all the rage in the 90's? Do you remember your parents consuming an array of drugs in the 70's and 80's? No. You were not born yet. Combine the two and you have an old, but new product in the land of no more FORD. The price, gasp, $55, 000US. 

Do you take multiple credit cards and non-legal tender? Canadian Tire currency. Yes.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

fashion industry confessions


What is this fickle relationship we have with Vogue? US edition specifically with yours truly, Anna Wintour as your editor-in-chief. We either love it or loathe it. None of that grey area shit. I stopped my monthly purchases out of annoyance. I didn't want to purchase a magazine that felt repetitive and comfortable. Same models, same designers and the same fucking photographers month to month. Including all these elitist articles about rich white upper-class bou-gee's. Am I right?

A friend, confidant and an all right bitch by my standards sent me a link to this. Fashion Industry Confessions. The hole of all glory holes in relation to fashion. A Tumblr (I don't even like Tumblr's!) about Karlie Kloss' eating disorder. I kid. Not. I just can't confirm it.

Be prepared to be on this Tumblr for hours. I suggest you steep some tea and scoop your favourite ice cream in a large bowl. Happy Thursday.

Rob Ford is out! That's old news now. Perry for Mayor!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

ra ra riot


I had this amazing opportunity to see this band live at Molson a few years ago. This was prior to me moving in the city. This chance at seeing great bands failed dutifully to The EX. My previous friend and I had this idea that parking would be a breeze. Let me tell you - The fucking EX ruined my chance at seeing Ra Ra Riot, City and Colour and Tegan and Sara.

I cried emotionally as we drove away... (Just a few seconds).

I laugh now because I know that I could have easily parked in the city and could have briskly walked there within 30 minutes. Fool Perry, fool. A new opportunity and a small venue. Lee's Palace. 15 minutes of joyful walking from where I reside.

The babes have release a new track called Beta Love. Legal download for you right here friends! All you have to do is click here! Try it! Listen to it before the world ends because the release isn't until after.

I like to get my tickets at Rotate on Queen West.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

pinback


A concert or $18 in my pocket? A difficult in choice in my mid-20's...

I remember the days of The O.C. when I first heard a single of theirs. I remember being a heterosexual and wanting to marry Rachel Bilson because she was super awesome and related so well to characters from The Valley. Those days of insecurity are long gone.

Pinback is playing tonight at Lee's Palace on Bloor. A brisk 15 minute walk from where I reside and in the aforementioned bubble of previous post. I am making a poor decision by not attending the concert. When am I going to see this band live?! On YouTube. I beat the system.

I totally would have rocked my new toque.

the row

Hey man, ladies-just don't bro me.

Pacific Row, this blog in my mind was created in May and now physically into the world of the Internets for all to envision. I had utilized my previous blog to incorporate the idea, but I felt it didn't have enough strength to move forward.

Pacific Row: A bubble in which I inhabit and therefore rarely exit. Let me give you a description of this bubble in which you probably live your daily lives in as well. Let's begin at going no farther east of Yonge. What is beyond the world east of Yonge? I know there's a No Frills in which I make an exception for and a few beaches and maybe a man along the way during the end of summer, but that is all. Going east is like, social suicide.

At Yonge we move north to Bloor. Beyond Bloor there is a friend who is an engineer and perhaps a good sushi restaurant, but you can find that at every corner. You have kids who are like probably exhibiting a Noxema commercial lifestyle or what at Yorkville.

The bubble barrier ends somewhere near Roncesvalles. Home to some clog artery delicious donuts and Parts and Labour. I don't often travel to Roncesvalles, but I'm definitely not opposed to it. That requires me to pay for the TTC which that I am opposed to.

I conclude this-how fucking busy was Cold Tea this summer?